We all know I have a problem when it comes to obsessions: tv, celebrities, nutella...but these I just don't understand.
10. Astrology. Apparently this is a really big thing on the East Coast, because whenever I meet someone new over here they immediately ask what my sign is and use that to decide if we are going to be future friends or not. I don't know about you, but I've never gotten a horoscope that in anyway describes my life at all, so I'm going to say it's just all made up.
9. Shoes. Don't get me wrong, I like shoes and all, but how do girls own like 50 pairs?! I have 1 kind and 1 color of each shoe I would ever need, and they all could match any outfit I own because I'm practical. Yes, if you're rich and have tons of money, I'd be buying hundreds of Jimmy Choos just for fun. But why do you need 25 different heels? Where are you possibly going that you could wear all of those and get your money's worth? Also feet are gross and shoes smell.
8. Scary movies. Why are there people who love watching scary movies and shows like American Horror Story? Just the name of that show makes me have thoughts of nightmares and terrors. I can't even look at the icon for that show on Netflix or the movie covers for horror movies. Why do people feel joy from being scared?!
7. Picklebacks. This is an East Coast thing that we Midwesterners are so lucky have never reached us. In New York, the most popular drink is a Pickleback, which is a shot of whiskey you chase with pickle juice. If that doesn't make you want to vomit, I don't know what will. I don't understand this craze and I hope it soon ends to be replaced by delicious drinks and shots. Until then, I'll just be drinking my tequila sunrise, laughing at all of you pretending to enjoy whiskey and pickles.
6. Miley Cyrus. I really didn't think her whole act would catch on. But then I find out people I actually know are dying to see her in concert, listening to all her songs, and following her all over social media. Like I must have been living in a dream world because I didn't realize there are actually people in this world that buy into her weird act and thing she's cool. In my opinion, Liam left just in time.
5. Running. I get liking to exercise and enjoying being healthy, but I don't get how people say they get "runners high" or are obsessed with running. When I'm running, all I think about is how much I'd rather be doing something else and calculating when the hell I can finally head home. I run to get exercise, but just out of pure fun and joy. In my mind those words don't mix with running.
4. Country Music. How people's ears don't bleed when they listen to it is beyond me. The only country singer I've ever liked is Shania Twain, and no one will ever be as good as her. This area of music is beyond my understanding of human beings and I never want to understand it. Ever.
3. Tinder. What ever happened to going somewhere and meeting a potential date in person? People act like they don't want to do internet dating, but in my eyes Tinder is the exact same thing but skankier. Especially in a huge city like NYC, if you're really looking for someone, there's about 8 million people here, and you'd see about 500 of them just on your morning commute alone.
2. Cats. I've said it before and I'll say it again, cats are not that great and I don't understand the hundreds of cat memes, videos, and other random things featuring cats that apparently get millions of hits on the internet. I don't care about cats putting their face in bread, and I sure as hell don't care about pop culture done by cats. So cats can just take a seat because they aren't that great and will never beat dogs.
1. Shark Week. Maybe it's because I've never watched it, but how on earth did sharks get their own week? Why not give the week to an animal you actually see everyday and have contact with. Also, we all know I despise and am disgusted by all sea creatures, so watching sharks for an entire week is not only boring but nauseating to me. I don't care that they kill less people than pajama fires, there is no way in hell I'm watching something for a week that can't even breathe on land. Goodbye.
xoxo,
Ms. Manhattan
xoxo,
Ms. Manhattan